


Love's Lost

by orphan_account



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-05 05:52:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1807780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Zuko is forced to leave Mai to Azula's mercy, he can't help but mourn the girl he thinks is dead. On the other side of the Fire Nation, Mai is treated brutally in prison for her crime... one she starts to forget all together. After a month of separation the two meet again once Zuko is crowned Fire Lord, and together they begin to heal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Saying Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during the episode "The Southern Raiders" If you want to get the whole feel of it, then watch the episode while you read. It might be hard if you've never read it before, but I have exact quotes when the scene changes, so it's not too difficult. If the words are in italics, than it's a flashback. Enjoy!

_The gondola was moving, though no one understood how. A commotion was going on out by the landing platform for the gondolas. Sokka ran over to the window. "Who's that?"_

_Zuko had seen that silhouette before. He'd woken up next to it, talked to it, wrapped his arms around it before kissing its lips. His feet itched to run back to it, to help it, but more than just an ocean of boiling water separated the two._

_Brown eyes met amber as everyone stared. His eyes widened in shock as the feel of that familiar gaze set his heart racing and lungs on fire. "It's Mai!"_   
_Zuko knew everyone was staring at her, but in that moment it was just the two of them all alone. She mouthed something to him before turning back to the solders, while Zuko tried to convince himself she'd said something different._

_But there was no denying her last word. Goodbye._

_Boom._

 

Zuko woke up with a start. Bombs everywhere, dust in the air, tons of marble crumbling. He welcomed the distraction, this night hadn't exactly been a restful one.

Almost in slow motion, he saw a bomb hit the celling of the Western Air Temple... and Katara right under it. He wasn't going to let someone else get hurt when he could stop it.

"Watch out!" He ran and pulled her out of the way. He could no longer see anyone else behind the wall of dust.

"What are you doing!" Katara sounded so hostile... hadn't he just saved her life?

"Keeping rocks from crushing you." Wasn't it obvious?

"Okay, I'm not crushed, you can get off me now!" She shoved him aside and ran back to Aang. What the hell was wrong with her?

"I'll take that as a thank you," he muttered.

As he ran back, Zuko could see the outline of a Fire Nation airship through the dust and rubble.

 

_Zuko, Sokka, and the others ran out of the gondola and up onto the cliffside. The rest of the group began to look for a way out, except for him who stared into the distance to where Mai and Azula were. Run, he kept hearing in his head. Run back to her and save her. This isn't good-bye. It can't be. Please._

_"Zuko what are you doing?"_

_Please let her be safe. Please let her be okay. Please let her get out. If she has to face Azula's wrath... Zuko couldn't breathe. That was too painful to think about. There was no other option. She was okay. She had to be. Please._

_"My sister was on that island." And she's going to make Mai pay. Because of him._

 

"What are you doing?" Aang stopped trying to wrangle Abba into Toph's tunnel.

"Go ahead. I'll hold them off." If there was one thing he could do, it was avenge Mai. He owed her that, at least. "I think this is a family visit." He ran towards the fleet of ships. The blood was pounding in his ears, a sadic rage overtook him the closer he got to Azula. No one and nothing could stop him this time.

After dodging more bombs and firebending at the fleet a bit, he saw his sister rise from the smoke and dust, a weird light in her eyes. "What are you doing here?" he spat, trying to lull her into a sense of false security, as though Zuko wouldn't dream of hurting his kin. It took all his control to stop from bending at her, but patience would ensure his success. He stood there as still as he could, his fists clenched and breathing ragged as she taunted him.

"You mean it's not obvious yet? I am about to celebrate becoming an only child!"

She bent at him, forcing him to run back. His rage and adrenaline made him stand again and run back into the throng. Seeing Azula a second time was too much. He aimed as best as he could, wanting nothing more than to give her a fatal blow. But he fell before he could, tumbling into the void below.

Zuko grunted as his body made contact with another ship. He dusted himself off and stood up quietly, hoping nobody noticed his landing. It rose ever so slowly, but finally Azula came back into his view. He wasted no time in running towards her. He was so close, so close.

Again and again he threw everything he had at her. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Abba and everyone else flying through the airships, somehow dodging all the bombs and fire. Azula turned to him and smiled harshly. "Oh Zuzu. Miss your girlfriend?"

He didn't know what happened next, just the horribly endless rage and pain searing through his veins and out with his fire. He couldn't think. He couldn't breathe. All he could do was kill Azula. She didn't deserve to live anymore.

With renewed energy he made his way towards her, clearing blow after blow after blow. He put all his energy into one final fire, the strength of it and hers combined forcing them both backwards.

He grabbed a hand and felt himself fall onto Abba. His eyes immediately searched for his sister, or hopefully her corpse. He saw her alive but falling into the void. "She's... not going to make it." His voice rang with disbelief. He'd actually done it. But at the last moment she rocketed backwards and found a hold on the cliffside. "Of course she did." He'd failed.

 

_Zuko and Lu Ten had been put to bed early because they'd run away from father one time too many. Five years his senior, the 15 year old Lu Ten was "departing his wisdom" on the 10 year old Zuko, or in Zuko's eyes annoying the hell out of him._

_"Hey, you'll miss this when I go back to the front." It had been almost two years since Lu Ten had started serving under his father in the siege of Ba Sing Se. "Besides, all I asked was if you knew what's-her-name... Mai? It's a yes or no answer, Zuki."_

_"In Agni's name, would you stop calling me that!? Besides, you know I know her. I was talking to her, wasn't I?" And being quite awkward at that. The feel of her eyes on him made his stupid tongue stutter over the simplest words._

_"All I'm saying is that you should ask her out, or whatever you midgets do."_

_"For the last time, I don't like her! And even if I did, she doesn't like me, so stop talking about it."_

_"Whatever, Zuki. I won't tell you about it, then." He looked away mischievously._

_"About what?" He was willing to look the other way with the nickname this time._

_"Oh, nothing. Since you obviously don't like her at all, it's not worth troubling the fire prince."_

_"What!"_

_There was a slam and a creak as the bedroom door opened. "Will you please shut up. People are trying to sleep. What could possibly be so important it can't wait till morning anyway?" Shit. Shit. Shit. Of course it had to be Mai. Shit. Shit. Shit._

_Lu Ten smiled again. "You. Zuko's got a thing for you but insists you don't like him back."_

_Mai just rolled her eyes. "If it'll shut you guys up." She walked over to Zuko and kissed him on the cheek sarcastically. "Happy?" she said dryly. "Now shut up." She slammed the door as she left._

_"You're welcome," Lu Ten said laughing, putting up a hand to block the fire Zuko had bent at him before rolling over._

_"I. Don't. Like. Her. Stop laughing!" Zuko rolled over too, a blush creeping onto his heated cheeks. His fingers brushed the spot where Mai's lips had touched his cheek and closed his eyes. He couldn't help smiling in the dark as Lu Ten laughed._

 

Zuko forced himself to focus and calm down on the entire way to the campsite. As Abba descended on a wood, Zuko saw the sun setting on the horizon. He found himself wondering if this was the first or second sunset Mai had missed. The second that thought passed his mind he felt tears biting behind his eyeballs, and forced them down. Not yet. He had to wait until he was alone.

The hours leading up to the night passed in a hazy blur. The remaining daylight seemed to pass in moments, he blinked and the tents were being set up. He blinked again and he was firebending a campfire. He blinked again and Aang was reminiscing. His body worked on its own accord, like he was possessed or something. He guessed he hadn't come off as acting weird, which was a plus.

He blinked again, apparenly he'd said something funny because everyone was laughing... except Katara. He didn't have long to brood on that because Sokka raised his glass and spoke. "To Zuko. Who knew after all those time he tried to snuff us out, today he'd be our hero."

Everyone agreed and toasted him. Their hero. They thought he'd saved them. When it came down to it, every heroic act he ever did happened by accident or was a lie. The only times it actually mattered, he'd failed. Too little too late.

"I'm... touched. I don't deserve this." Maybe it came off as modestly, because no one tried to correct him. In fact, Katara did the opposite, only confirming what he already knew.

"Yea. No kidding." She got up and walked away.

He heard himself say something, and felt himself move somewhere, but his mind had again shut off. Maybe Katara didn't realize, but she was more right than any other person currently. But she meant it to spite him, and her distrust would have to be sorted out. Or used to distract him from the previous day. His body had gotten to that conclusion first apparently, because he heard himself ask Sokka to talk about their mother's death. She connected her anger at that to him, he'd known that since Ba Sing Se.

He listened to the young warrior's story, and got all the information he needed to help Katara. He felt himself get up and leave, and walk to Katara's tent. He could hear her deep breathing, and apparently didn't want to wake her, so his body decided to sit on a rock and wait up for her instead.

 

_Cut. Jab. Jab. Slice. Twist. Cut. Jab. Thrust. Twist. Slice. Jab. The sun beat down on Zuko as he practiced his sword fighting. Slice. Slice. Jab. Cut. Twist. Thrust. Thrust. Jab. He wiped the sweat off his forehead from the hot sun beating down on him._

_"Where is everyone?" Mai's voice startled him, he was under the impression he was alone._

_"Out." He paused for a second, thinking. "Father and Uncle have a meeting, Azula's... somewhere." He put his swords back in their sheath and turned to face Mai._

_She cocked her head and smiled challengingly. "Want held practicing?" She said, two stilettos appearing between her fingers. Zuko nodded and unsheathed his swords again._

_Mai was good at this. Really good. "Why aren't you at the meeting?" She asked, throwing a stiletto under her arm Zuko missed so narrowly that it ripped the hem of his robe._

_"Uncle said I was too young. Code for 'I'd be a nuisance' I guess." His swords swooped down to trip her, which she blocked with his sai. "Agni know why though, I'm thirteen, not three." A wall of stilettos zoomed past his right ear, making it impossible to try and trip her again._

_"I'd like to think this is more entertaining anyway," Mai sounded almost bored. "Or at least it would be, if you were actually trying." With her words, Zuko jumped to the left and ran, wall-jumping off a tree behind Mai to try and startle her. He landed just behind her, and wrapped his swords around her neck so she couldn't move._

_"I win." She nodded her head slightly, and he sheathed his swords. "I can't believe I actually beat you this time."_

_Mai scoffed. "Beginners luck." Zuko laughed at that, and hesitantly brought his lips forward to kiss her gently. Mai didn't pull away._

_After a few moments Zuko raised his head slightly so their foreheads were touching. He wrapped his arms around Mai's waist and said "I still can't believe I'm allowed to do that." It had barely been a day since their real first kiss._

_Mai smiled, a real genuine smile Zuko had never seen before. It lit up her face in a way the sun never could. "Well then, we could always practice..." She was the one who brought her lips forward this time._

 

Finally, Zuko could hear the flap of Katara's tent open. He looked up to find her glaring at him. "You look terrible." She tried to hurry past him, but Zuko had had enough of being pushed around to last a lifetime. She was going to listen.

"I waited out here all night." She grabbed a comb and started combing her hair out. It reminded him of Mai after she woke up back in the Fire Nation. Stop, Zuko, he thought. Just focus. Katara first. Mai second.

"What do you want?" Katara sounded more hostile than ever.

Zuko took a deep breath. "I know who killed your mother. I'm going to help you find him." That was enough to convince her.

They didn't speak as they gathered what they'd need. His body started to act on its own accord again, because suddenly he was in the middle of a conversation with Aang, Sokka, and Katara. At least he had the good sense to stay back.

"Um, and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?" Aang sounded like the monks himself.

  
Katara shook her head. "I knew you wouldn't understand." Zuko privately agreed with her.

"Wait stop! I do understand. You're feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when the stole Abba? How to you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?"

That hit a little too close to home. Whether Aang knew it or not (and Zuko was going with not) that was exactly how he felt about Mai. He grew hostile, he wanted to defend himself, defend her. "She needs this Aang. This is about getting closure and justice." He'd never lost someone he truly loved. He didn't really get it. Zuko knew he'd do anything to get justice for Mai.

"I don't think so. I think it's about getting revenge." In Zuko's mind currently, that was the same thing.

"Fine!" Katara's exclamation startled him, forcing him to focus again.

"Maybe it is. Maybe that's what I need. Maybe that's what he deserves." Zuko silently agreed with her.

He heard Aang say something about a jet, then Katara calling something a monster. He wasn't really paying attention anymore. This was supposed to be his distraction. HIs break. So why did his thoughts always return to Mai? Zuko felt trapped in his own head! Push it down, he thought. Don't think about it.

"The monks used to say that revenge is like a two-headed rat-viper. While you watch your enemy go down, you're being poisoned yourself." At Aang's words Zuko felt like screaming. Killing Azula wouldn't do anything to him but help him avenge Mai! In fact, everyone would thank him for getting Azula out of the way. This wasn't about Katara's mother anymore. This was about Mai.

"That's cute. But this isn't Air Temple pre-school. It's the real world." He wanted Aang to hurt. He wanted to give him the pain and anger that was balled up inside him. He wanted to make him correct himself.

Katara was obviously thinking along those same lines. "Now that I know he's out there, now that I know we can find him, I feel like I have no choice." Exactly, Zuko thought.

"Katara, you do have a choice. Forgiveness."

No. Never. How could he forgive Azula for taking one of the most speical people on the planet, and slowly ripping her life from her!? "That's the same as doing nothing!" Screw Katara's mother. He was fighting for Mai. He was not going to do nothing. He was going to make Azula pay for what she did.

"...easy to do nothing, but it's hard to forgive." He missed the first part of Aang's speech. Good riddance.

"It's not just hard. It's impossible." With that Katara, stormed off. He followed after her. This couldn't be over. He needed to distract himself. "What do you want Zuko?" Her voice sounded hostile the moment they were alone.

"Aang's completely wrong. Just listen, okay? The kid's a pushover, we can just go back to Abba tonight. If he finds us, just act like you don't care or something. He won't stop us."

"Fine." It was a testament to how angry Katara was that she actually agreed to betray Aang.

Just like Zuko had suspected, Sokka and Aang saw them right before they left. Zuko didn't want to hear anymore of the argument. He'd been completely focused since he'd talked to Katara, and he would rather not jinx it.

"Don't try to stop us." Katara sounded as hostile as Zuko had heard her around Aang and her brother.

"I wasn't planning to. This is a journey you need to take. You need to face this man." Aang paused, and Zuko hoped it was over. Unfortunately, Zuko put his guard down a moment too soon. "But when you do, please don't choose revenge. Let you anger out... and then let it go."

No. To give up his anger and grief about Mai was to lose her completely. He wouldn't ever do that, ever. The next time he saw Azula he'd do exactly what he did last night. Maybe if she'd felt some remorse he'd try to do what Aang said. But she'd thrown it back in his face. She didn't deserve his forgiveness.

"Okay we'll be sure to do that Guru Goody-Goody." He climbed on top of Abba with Katara and they flew away. His body started acting for him again while he brooded on what Aang said. He was wrong. He was 12. He didn't really know what it was like to lose someone you loved. At least not this kind of love.

Getting information from the tower was a success. When Abba lifted back into the sky, Zuko lied down to sleep.

 

_The moon was high in the sky before Zuko dared to leave his room. Luckily, somehow none of the servants noticed him. He quietly opened a window and dropped down out of the palace. He darted accross the road to Mai's and quietly let himself inside with the spare key._

_He loved looking at Mai when she was asleep. She looked so peaceful, her long hair laying on the pillows, her eyes wide and closed, her lips smiling slightly. He brushed back her bangs and kissed her forehead, the action making her eyes flutter open. "Zuko... what...?" She pushed herself up on the bed to look at him._

_"I couldn't sleep. Do you want to go for a walk?" He shrugged slightly and cocked his head a bit, doing his best to look cute. He saw Mai roll her eyes._

_"It's the middle of the night, Zuko."_

_"It's also a full moon. We'll be able to see."_

_"Can't you just stay here?"_

_"I want to talk to someone, it'll either be you or Uncle. Your choice."_

_Mai rolled her eyes again, but then shook her head like he was a lost cause. "If it'll keep you away from jail, fine." She slipped on some shoes and grabbed his outstretched hand. Before letting go, he pulled Mai towards him and kissed her._

_The moonlight gave the entire Palace City a silvery glow, as Zuko had predicted seeing wasn't a problem. After the two had walked a little while, Mai spoke up. "So, what's wrong?" Zuko didn't say anything, he just looked down at his feet. If she knew, if he told her... "Zuko, you didn't drag me out here for no reason. Just tell me what's going on." She stopped walking and cupped his cheek, the tips of her fingers grazing his scar. He leaned into her touch._

_Zuko took a deep breath, and said it quickly. "When that Water-tribe girl and I were imprisoned in Ba Sing Se two weeks ago, she showed me this special water that she said could heal unhealable things like my scar." He lowered Mai's hand and started to walk again. He didn't feel like seeing her face.. "The Avatar- he's still alive. She healed him, I know it."_

_Mai's face was blank. Only her eyes gave her away, he could see both shock and concern hidden there. "Did you, I mean if you knew he was alive, did you do something about it?"_

_Zuko nodded his head. "I sent an assassin after them. But what if that's not enough? What if they're discovered and I bring more shame to myself? I'm going out of my mind, Mai!"_

_"Calm down and lower your voice, unless you want the entire city to hear you." Mai shook her head at him again. "Nothing will happen, nothing can happen. If he's not dead, and you don't know for sure that he is alive, then he's keeping his head down. Sozin's comet is almost here, right? After the comet the Avatar won't be able to do anything anyway." Mai looked at him with a flirty smile on her face. "Although, if you'd like me to find them I'd be more than happy to..."_

_Zuko stopped walking and pulled Mai close, his worries vanishing at her words. She was right of course, and he'd hired someone who never failed. "No thanks. I'd miss you too much." He drew Mai in for a long kiss, her midnight hair reflecting the moonlight._

_"I don't hate you."_

_"I don't hate you too."_

 

Zuko was disorientated when he woke up. He kept his eyes close for a moment, wanting to savor the dream. He tried to figure out where he was, and scattered memories of the previous two days came back into his mind. Suddenly he didn't feel like remembering Mai alive and healthy. He sat up quickly, almost recoiling from his memories. He focused instead on the back of Katara's head. Katara first, Mai second.

He figured he should announce himself in case Katara wanted some sleep. "You should get some rest. We'll be there in a few hours. You'll need all your strength." His voice was weak and short. It sounded broken, it was broken. Just like the rest of him.

Katara launched into a story, and Zuko couldn't help but feel relieved. The last thing he wanted was to be alone with his memories. Brooding on someone else's was like a breath of fresh air.

"But we were too late. When we got there the man was gone. And so was she." Katara leaned forward, Zuko could tell she was trying not to cry. All these lives, all these families, all these people, they were all being torn apart by the war. Him and Mai. Katara and her mother. Aang and his people. He couldn't think of anyone who wasn't affected by war in some way. It made his desire to help even stronger. When he fought the war, he was fighting others losing someone the way the two of them had lost. He was glad his resolve hadn't shaken, even if a part of him regretted leaving Mai. Maybe that's why the universe made him feel like this. So he'd know what he was fighting for. If that was true, Zuko thought, then I hate the universe.

"Your mother was a brave woman." Zuko couldn't say much more in one go, but he tried to show how much he understood. He was drowning in Mai, in her memories. He knew what it was like to have loved and have lost.

"I know." Katara paused for a moment, Zuko knew she was remembering. He wondered desperately if it would ever get better, or if he'd be stuck with this pain forever the way Katara was. Almost as if this thought had occurred to her, Katara got up and slowly walked to where Zuko sat. He grabbed the bison's reins and directed the bison towards Whale Tail Island.

The invasion of the Southern Raiders' ship passed in fragments. The only moment Zuko could clearly remember was Katara's blood bending. He'd never seen anything like it, one moment he was advancing against the captain, the next he was being controlled by Katara like a puppet. In her eyes Zuko saw a kind of fire flash that he'd only seen in one other person: Azula. But after a moment it was gone. He must have imagined it.

 

Z _uko could feel tears biting behind his eyes as he saw her. He couldn't breathe or think or feel, so he just hung his head and stared. So badly he wanted leave, to go and take her with him. But she hated him now, and besides her entire life was here. Never seeing Tom-Tom again would kill her. Still, he'd forgotten how beautiful she was._

 

The memory poured into his head without warning. No. Not here. Not now. This was meant to distract him. He couldn't think about... it wasn't... he... that wasn't a time he wanted to remember.

 

_Zuko felt so much emotion that he couldn't function. He couldn't feel anything without releasing it all. So, he just said the first things that came to mind. Everything he said or did felt weak._

_"How did you know I was here?"_

_"Because I know you so well."_

_"But... how-"_

_"The uncle's my warden you idiot."_

_Zuko hid his face so she couldn't see how close he was to tears. A pathetic groan escaped his lips._

_"All I get is a letter? You could have at least looked me in the eye when you ripped out my heart!"_

_"I didn't mean to-"_

_You didn't mean to what, Zuko? That was the question he'd been asking himself since the day of black sun. Love her? Come back to her and try to be happy? Realize his whole life was completely misguided? Leave?_

  
_Ripped out her heart. I ripped out her heart. Me. I did. I ripped out her heart. No one else. The only person I never wanted to hurt. I ripped out her heart because I couldn't face her. I couldn't look her in the eye because it would hurt to much._

_I ripped out her heart because I loved her too much to bear it._

_Zuko wasn't even listening to her anymore. Mai didn't have to read his letter to him, he knew exactly what it said._

_Dear Mai,_   
_I'm sorry that you have to find out this way, but I'm leaving. I know you can't understand why, or you don't want to, but I want you to know that I'm sorry. I wish you could come with me, but we both know that's impossible. So, I'm sorry. I--_

_Zuko remembered hesitating here, but he didn't regret putting it in anymore. His time away from her had proved that much._

_\--I love you, Mai. I always will. No matter what happens._   
_Zuko._

_"Stop!" This was too much. It was all too much. He had spent weeks forcing this all down, it was all happening to fast. "This isn't about you!" Yes it is, but he couldn't admit it. "This is about the Fire Nation!" And how he'd leave with her for it in a second if he could._

_"Thanks Zuko. That makes me feel all better." She sounded so cool and hostile. Every word felt like knife in the pit of his stomach. She threw the letter at him and he flinched, as though it was heavy from the words on the page._

_"Mai, I never wanted to hurt you." It was so obvious that despite his intentions she was hurt. Badly. He didn't even know how deep, but just as much as he was hurt from leaving her. Maybe even more from the surprise of his departure. "But I have to do this to save my country." Please, he thought. Please try to understand._

_"Save it? You're betraying your country!" The Mai who had supported him was long gone._

_"That's not how I see it." Mai looked away from him, her arms crossed. He jumped up. This was it._

_"Mai, you didn't see the thing I saw. I was banished for years! You didn't see the scars the solders left on innocent people, or the corpses piled high from massacre because the solders didn't like the town! You didn't see 'honorable' Fire Nation solders look a toddler in the eye and strange it to death in front of its father because he refused to back down!_   
_All our lives, we've been fed this propaganda in school and at home that this war was spreading the power of the Fire Nation. But they hate us, and I finally see why! My mother saw it, and my father banished her. My uncle saw it, and my father took the throne from him. I saw it, and my father banished me. How many more, Mai? How many people were killed or banished or tortured in the dead of night because they saw what we had become? How many times did my father kill to protect his secret? Or yours!"_

_Mai's breathing had become ragged, she turned away from him and walked towards the door. But he wasn't going to give up this chance. He didn't explain himself in the letter because he didn't know what he was fighting for yet. He ran after her and grabbed her hand, forcing her to stop walking. She ripped her hand out of his but stayed still._

_"Mai, I didn't just have it happen to me, I watched it happen to Azula. I watched the Fire Nation and the school system turn her into what she is today. If you stay with your parents long enough, you'll watch it happen to Tom-Tom too! It has to stop before the entire world is brainwashed and destroyed! You don't know what I heard before I left, the lengths my father would go to to get power. I didn't leave you, I gave you up so you wouldn't get dragged into this mess!"_

_Mai looked at him, her back against the wall. "Well I'm already in it. And I don't know what you're talking about."_

_Zuko looked at her, her eyes narrowed in anger. "I think you do, you just don't want to admit it." There was a moment of silence interrupted by a prison guard. Zuko saw his chance to join the others, and ran out the door. He met Mai's eyes for a second, she was as close to tears as he was. She was confused and felt betrayed, he knew that. But he'd already made his decision. He closed his eyes so he wouldn't cry and ran away. He could've sworn he heard some kind of fabric rip, as though the rope tying him to Mai was severed. Please let her understand._

 

"It's not him. He's not the man" Katara looked defeated. Zuko could barely here her. He was lost in his own mind. He wanted so much to force everything on to her, all the pain and regret and anger.

"What!? What do you mean he's not! He's the leader of the Southern Raiders! He has to be the guy!" Zuko was shocked at the sound of his own voice. He sounded like he had when he was still banished, months ago. Before the Avatar was back.

Instead of taking it out on Katara, Zuko decided to take it out on the captain. He slammed the captain against a wall and pinned him down. "If you're not the man we're looking for, who is!" Zuko pushed him farther into the wall. If he couldn't transfer the pain, at least he could make others understand it."You must be looking for Yan Rah. He retired four years ago." He could hear Katara stop walking at the mention of her mother's killer. She looked at him with defiance.

Zuko pressed the captain harder against the wall. "Where is he? Where can we find him!" Anything to escape this place. It was too much the the Boiling Rock.

"His mother was sick, so he moved back to his hometown of Ya She Ten. He's there now. He lives near the market, below the hills." Zuko pressed him as hard as he could, as though he was squeezing all the information out of him. "That's all I know. Please!"

Zuko let go, and a startled captain fell to the floor. Zuko looked around for a map or something, but he couldn't see too clearly at the moment.

"There!" Katara held a scroll, and unrolled it on the captain's desk. Zuko glanced back at him, who lay unconscious on the metal floor. He ran towards Katara, every second spent in this metal killed him.

Katara pointed to an island not too far from Whale Tail island. "It's not too bad, we should be able to reach it by tomorrow afternoon." Zuko gave a curt nod. The two of them ran out of the boat and back onto Abba, and set off for Ya She Ten.

Alone in the dark, Zuko's thoughts drifted back to Mai. He'd wanted her to understand, and she did. Because of that, she was gone.

Half an hour. That's how long Zuko and Katara trailed him. He noticed them a few times, but checked if they were there or bent at them. He shouted at them, and Katara recognized the voice. He nodded at her and the two of them sneaked forward. It started to rain, which was good. Good source of water, and fires are useless. He wouldn't be able to fight back. Perfect.

"Nobody sneaks up on me without getting burned!" He bent at a bush a little bit off from where they had been hiding a few moments before, and tripped over a wire in the road. Zuko saw his chance.

"We weren't behind the bush." His mind was clearer than it had been for what seemed like decades. He pointed his fists at the man, so he wouldn't try and run away. "And I wouldn't try firebending again!"

"Whoever you are, take my money, take whatever you want, I'll cooperate." He sounded scared and weak, like a little baby animal. Zuko heard Katara walking up behind him.

Zuko wasn't really listening to Katara or her mother's killer, he instead focused on the sound of the rain and his body, to make sure he didn't try to run away. The rain was soothing, almost like he was at home. If he tried hard enough, he could almost convince himself he was playing a game back home.

After the killer finished his story, he gulped in fear and watched Katara with wide eyes. "She lied to you! She was protecting the last waterbender." Katara turned away.

"What? Who!" Zuko was mildly surprised this hadn't occurred to anyone, after all, Katara's mother hadn't bent at all.

"Me!" Azula's light appeared in Katara's eyes again as she bent the rain. It was the thought of killing, Zuko realized, of relishing it and wanting it. The rain became a dome, the dome ice, and the ice icicles that flew at the man's heart. He almost shouted at Katara to stop, but she did on her own. He was so relieved he forgot to listen to what happened next.

When he refocused, Katara was speaking again. "I always wondered what kind of person could do such a thing. But now that I see you, I think I understand. There's just nothing inside you, nothing at all. You're pathetic and sad and empty!"

Zuko realized that he was meant to hear this and see this. Killing Azula wouldn't do anything. It wouldn't change the past. It wouldn't bring Mai back. All it would do was turn him into the man he was before. It would turn him into Azula. Mai had... he still couldn't say it. Mai had left so he could live. He wasn't going to throw that away to avenge her. He finally realized what Aang had meant before.

"Please, spare me." The man was whimpering on the ground.

"As much as I hate you... I just can't do it." Katara sounded defeated, but also strong at the same time. She must have come to the same realization he had. Zuko looked at her with a comforting gaze, but she turned away. He followed.

"Come on, Katara. I know a place we can stay."

Ember Island. He had so many good memories there, so many of them with Mai. He needed to surround himself with her so he could remember her and mourn her. But first he had to finish with Katara.

He told Aang what happened, and the young airbender immedietly ran to Katara's side. Zuko smiled a bit, he could see them as a couple pretty easily. "Katara! Are you okay?"

Katara didn't look at them, instead she looked at the sun setting on the horizon. "I'm doing fine." She didn't sound fine.

"Zuko told me what you did, or what you didn't do I guess. I'm proud of you." So am I, Zuko thought. You helped me where no one else could. And you did it without realizing it.

"I wanted to. I wanted to take out all my anger at him, but I couldn't. I don't know if it's because I'm too weak to do it or if it's because I'm strong enough not to." Zuko knew exactly how she felt.

"You did the right thing." Aang stepped towards her, as if he was going to try and comfort her, but decided against it. "Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing."

Katara stood up and looked at Aang straight in the eyes. "But I didn't forgive him. I'll never forgive him." Katara looked up at Zuko and smiled at him for the first time. "But I am ready to forgive you." She hugged him briefly and walked away. It reminded him of Mai when they were younger, before they realized their feelings were mutual. Of course, he knew Katara didn't feel like that, nor did he feel like that about her, but it was comforting to know one thing could stay the same. "You were right about what Katara needed. Violence wasn't the answer."

 

_Zuko didn't know what he was staring at. The sky, the stars, the moon, or the window? All he knew was that he was staring. He needed to think._

 

No. Not now. Wasn't this supposed to be over?

 

_He heard someone open the door softly and walk towards him. He didn't turn around or say anything, instead he just took comfort in the way her arms slid around his waist._

 

"It never is." Oh right, Aang was there. Zuko felt some of his sadic rage come back, although he knew now it wasn't right. But a demon had posessed him. He wanted Aang to eat his words, to hurt. Why was he still thinking of Mai? This wasn't supposed to happen!

 

_Mai leaned her head on his shoulder and smiled. Zuko closed his eyes at her touch. "You always know what to do," he said softly._

 

"Then I have a question for you." Zuko's voice broke, so he turned towards Aang. "What are you going to do when you face my father?"

 

_"That's the perk of knowing someone their entire life." Mai started caressing his cheek with her thumb, it felt nice. Zuko couldn't help but touch her hand with his. He pressed her hand into his cheek a bit more._

 

Aang's reaction was exactly what the demon had wanted. But Zuko felt the tears biting again and he couldn't push them down. So he ran.

 

_"I'm sorry about what I said. You were right for breaking up with me, I wasn't being normal." Zuko opened his eyes again and looked back at the sky._

 

"Zuko!" Aang called after him, but Zuko could barely hear him. Dead. Mai's dead. The words pounded in his ears along with the blood. Dead. Dead. Dead.

 

_"No, you were right. It's just hard." Mai shook her head at the words. "This vacation hasn't been too fun, has it?" Zuko laughed at the sarcasm. It felt good to laugh._

 

Finally Zuko reached the door of the house. He pulled it open as fast as he could and ran down the hallway. The surrounding past him like a montage.

 

_"Yea. Next time father sends us on a forced vacation, I'll challenge him to an Agni Kai." Zuko turned his head and looked at her, her face lit up in a smile. "You know, you're so beautiful when you smile. I don't know why you don't do it more often."_

 

The faster Zuko ran, the slower the hallway moved. Zuko finally saw his old room and made a desperate grab for the doorknob. Dead. Dead. Mai's dead.

 

_Mai rolled her eyes at that, which made Zuko laugh again. "I still can't believe no one recognized me or Azula though, I mean aren't we supposed to be famous?" Mai smiled again._

 

How do you open doors? Right. Twist the doorknob. He twisted it and the door creaked open.

 

_"How do you think they'll react when they find out? 'Goodbye loser b- oh shit that's the Fire Lord." Mai actually laughed at that one. Mission accomplished._

 

The second the door closed the tears came pouring down. Dead. Dead. Dead. Azula killed her. Mai would be safer in the Fire Nation, that's why she didn't come with him. Well, guess what? She would still be alive if he'd taken her. It was his fault.

Or if he'd just given her an actual reason in the letter. She wouldn't have needed to come to the Boiling Rock. Or if he'd broken up with her to her face. Or if he'd taken her with him. Or if he'd brought her with him instead of locking her in the interrogation room. Or if he'd not tried to convince her. I'm sorry, Zuko thought. Finally, he curled up in fetal position and let the memory consume him.

 

_"Don't you wish you could stay here forever? Facing Azula or Ty Lee's personality is not a top priority for me right now." Zuko nodded. He was having fun for the first time this entire vacation._

_"Well then," Zuko said, and picked Mai up bridal style despite her protests._

_"Zuko! Put me down!" Mai couldn't stop laughing, though._

_"Okay." Zuko walked over to his bed and threw her onto it. She landed on her face, the hair sprawled all around the pillows._

_"Zuko I am going to kill you!" It didn't sound as convincing with the laughing, though. Zuko peeled off his shirt and jumped in the bed beside her._

_"You're the one who wanted to stay here forever. How about a night?" Mai turned over and looked at him, no longer laughing but a smile on her face._

 

Zuko hadn't realized he was crying. This was the same room. After a moment of shuddered breathing, Zuko got up, tears still pouring down his cheeks, and walked over to the bed. He could see Mai's vague outline on the sheets.

Zuko reached down and touched the imprint softly with the tip of his finger. But after he touched it, he couldn't pull away. All he could do was put more of his body on the sheets Mai once slept in. Eventually he was lying where she had laid, his face crying into her old pillow. It still smelled like her. He missed that smell.

 

_"I guess," she said. Mai pulled him close and kissed him long and hard as her hands explored the hills and valleys of his chest. Zuko wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her even closer, until only the fabric of their clothes separated them. Zuko opened his eyes lazily and just stared at Mai. Incredible, he thought._

_"I don't hate you, Mai," he whispered, no longer having the strength or will to talk out loud. "And I always will. I promise."_

_Mai just looked at him, her face tender but apathetic at the same time. "They always leave, Zuko. Or I leave them." Her voice broke._

_"That's not me, Mai. I swear. I'll never leave unless you're with me."_

_"How do I know?" Zuko kissed her forehead, then right between her eyes, then the tip of her nose. He leaned his head back so their foreheads were touching and pulled her close again._

_"Because the thought would kill me." With that, Mai relented and the two melted into each other in the dark. The last thing Zuko could remember before fading into unconsciousness was Mai's breath at his ear._

_"I don't hate you too. And I always will."_

 

The lies. That's what got him. You'll be safe in the Fire Nation. It's better if you understand. Nothing will hurt you if I'm there. I'll never leave without you. His entire relationship had amounted into nothing but lies and memories that hurt.

What had Aang said? Forgiveness is the first step to healing? Well he couldn't forgive Azula. He never could, unless by some miracle she'd been lying to him this entire time and Mai was still alive. But Azula wasn't the only one who had told him Mai was gone, Mai herself had known she was going to die... he'd told her so when she said goodbye.

He wasn't going to forgive Azula, but he could forgive himself. And Mai. The sun was halfway down on the horizon when Zuko looked up. Wiping the tears off his face, he opened up the windows so he could feel the night air on his face. His fingers traced the spot Mai had put her hands on the windowsill not a month before, before everything went wrong.

"Hi Mai. I know you're probably catching up with old relatives or something, but I just wanted to talk to you. Is this stupid?" Zuko shook his head and smiled at the ground. "Yea, it is. I know you're probably ashamed of me right now for doing this. Or maybe not." Zuko took a deep breath and looked back at the night.

"I'm sorry about what happened. I know it's partly my fault because of how stupid I was acting, but I know that you'll forgive me. But the thing is, I don't know if I can forgive myself. I never appreciated you the way I should have, I know that now. You weren't just a part of my life Mai, you were my life. I didn't realize that until I left. I was right, you know. Leaving you, it killed me. When you came back, when I saw you again, I wanted so badly to erase what had happened before and just go."

Zuko felt a tear fall again, but he just wiped it away before continuing. "But that was impossible. And watching you sacrifice yourself for me, that killed again. I didn't want to believe it was you, but if you weren't the kind of person who would do something like that I don't think I would've loved you in the first place."

Zuko's voice grew stronger as he talked. It felt like a thousand rocks were being lifted off his shoulders the longer he spoke. "It's funny, I always thought that if I ever lost you I'd remember the important moments: when I first saw you or when we got together. But, all I see are those perfect ordinary days, when nothing big or bad or important ever happened besides us enjoying each other's company."

Zuko paused for a second. He could hear someone coming, but he no longer cared if they knew what had happened. After his outburst they'd know something was up, anyway. "I'm done trying to seek out Azula. Killing her over you won't do anything for either of us. But I know that I'm going to have to face her, maybe soon. When I do, I want you to know I'll be fighting for you, for what she did, alongside everything else."

 

_The gondola was moving, though no one understood how. A commotion was going on out by the landing platform for the gondolas. Sokka ran over to the window. "Who's that?"_

_Zuko had seen that silhouette before. He'd woken up next to it, talked to it, wrapped his arms around it before kissing its lips. His feet itched to run back to it, to help it, but more than just an ocean of boiling water separated the two._

_Brown eyes met amber as everyone stared. His eyes widened in shock as the feel of that familiar gaze set his heart racing and lungs on fire. "It's Mai!"_   
_Zuko knew everyone was staring at her, but in that moment it was just the two of them all alone. She mouthed something to him before turning back to the solders, while Zuko tried to convince himself she'd said something different._

_But there was no denying her last word. Goodbye._

 

"Goodbye, Mai. No matter what happens, you'll always be my Fire Lady."


	2. Infinity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This starts the same time as chapter 1, and goes on for about a month. Possible triggers: stockholm syndrom, isolation, rape.

The two men who were dragging Mai threw her into the cell. Her head made contact with the metal wall and produced a loud, metallic sound. The last thing she remembered before blacking out was a man staring at her like she was a piece of meat.

When Mai finally woke up, the first thing she did was move a hand to her head. Yep, definitly a bump there. Great. She looked around, into the light of her cell, and found that it didn’t hurt, at least no more than looking directly into a light normally would. No headache either. Good, at least she didn’t have a concussion.

It took her a minute to remember why she was in that small, metal room. Then it all came rushing back to her. The Boiling Rock. Zuko. Azula. Ty Lee. The fight. The betrayal. They hadn’t wanted to keep her in the Boiling Rock, because her uncle was the warden and he might’ve treated her better than a filthy traitor (a guard’s words, not hers) deserved. Then she and Ty Lee had separated, no need to keep the two who could overcome the princess together to cause trouble. As far as Mai knew, Ty Lee was dead by now.

The guards had taken away most of her weapons. She only had her sai left. Classic. Mai looked through the bars of her cell to make sure no guard was coming, then brought the knife into view. This was her last connection to the outside world, at least for now. She’d keep it well hidden.

One day passed. Then two. Then a week. There was nothing. No one spoke to her, though Mai saw guards pass her cell every now and then. She got two meals a day, generally something tasteless and unappetizing. No one took away her sai. She could not leave the cell. Mai began to save a little of her water to bathe herself, though she refused to take off her clothes, a bag-like outfit that the prisoners at the Boiling Rock had also worn. After two weeks, things began to change.

Mai noticed that same guard, the one that had examined her on her first day, started staring at her and appeared more often in front of her cell. The other guards stopped passing there. Her portions of food started getting gradually smaller and smaller. Mai began to save some so she could ration it if she needed to.

One day food stopped coming all together. No breakfast, no dinner on the first night. She broke into her rations. Same thing the second night, but at that point her small supply had run out. And that guard started to appear more and more often.

After her third morning without any food, the guard entered her cell. “Hello sweetheart,” he said, locking the door to her cell behind him. Mai didn’t respond. “Stand up when I visit you.” He said. Mai shook her head and remained sitting. “Now, sweetheart!” He grabbed her wrist and pulled her up. “Don’t touch me!” she screamed.

The guard laughed. “You filthy slut. How dare you tell me what to do.” He took another step closer, the space between them barely an inch. Mai grabbed her sai and aimed for his neck, but after two and a half days with little to no food, her aim was off and her strength gone. Her last weapon whizzed over his shoulder and clanged as it hit the floor, out of reach.

The guard pinned Mai against a wall, all her attempts to break free futile. He ran his hand along the length of her body, stopping at her curves. Mai breathed heavily and tried to wrangle free, but she was weak and pinned between a wall and a 6 foot, strong man. The last thing Mai remembered was him laughing softly “don’t resist, sweetheart,” before she blacked out.

Spoiled. Dirty. That’s how she felt when she woke up after her first rape. She felt like she had lost her honor, her dignity, her worth. She felt trapped, her only weapon was gone and the guard had proved how easy it would be to overcome her. For the first time in a long time, she cried. 

Unfortunately, the rapes didn’t stop. In fact, they got worse. At random moments the food would stop coming and the guard would enter with his “don’t resist sweetheart” and his “don’t you know no one’s coming for you?”. She felt like she was breaking. All her memories started disappearing in a hazy blur.

After a while, she couldn’t even remember anything about her life before the cells. She didn’t even know she had a life before the cells.

After a little bit Master, as she called him, began to warm up to her. If she responded to his visits, he’d give her more food the next day. or only make her miss one or two meals in preparation instead of the normal 3 or 4. Sweeheart, as she came to call herself, knew he was being kind. It wasn’t his fault she wasn’t allowed to eat before he visited her, that’s what he said. And she believed him, after all he was kind to her. It took a lot to give her extra food.

Sometimes Master wouldn’t be kind though, through no fault of his. She would make him angry or upset and he’d call her names like “slut” and hurt her. She knew it was her fault, and would always try and make amends during his next visit. It worked, most of the time.

The visits themselves fell into a sort of routine. The first sign would be the removal of food in her preparation. Then he’d come and say “Hello, sweetheart,” with that smile of his. She’d stand and say “Don’t touch me,” kindly, she didn’t know what it meant but figured it was some kind of greeting. Like hello. Then he’d pin her against the wall, she’d playfully try and fight, and he’d eventually win and do what he liked. Sweetheart never won because she never tried. Master would be mad if she did.

One day, something was wrong. Master appeared before her, but she hadn’t skipped her meal yet. He walked in, silently, then eyed her with a glare of loathing. Had she done something wrong? He pinned her against the wall without any greeting, and said “Your little boyfriend won.” 

Sweetheart thought for a moment. What was a boyfriend? What had it won? Then Master said “It’s only a matter of time before he makes me release you.” No. This room was her world. She’d never been out of it before! What had she done to deserve this?!

But then he made his mistake. He said “Unfortunately, you’re not leaving. Couldn’t have Fire Lord Zuko find out about this, could we sweetheart?”

Zuko. Zuko. Suddenly, just for a moment, she remembered. She remembered that day in the sun when she captured a hundred guards to make sure Zuko was safe. She remembered thinking she was going to die, and the relief she felt when she’d caught his eye one last time to tell him good-bye. She remembered another girl, his sister, trying to kill her, and a third girl, her best friend, defending her. She, Mai, remembered.

The guard moved towards her, her own sai his weapon of choice. Another mistake. Mai remembered when she’d gotten that. Zuko had been 12, it had been her 11th birthday. He’d given it to her as a gift, because she had no short-range weapon. He said it had been from Azula. Liar. 

"Don’t touch me." Mai said, uncertainly. An overwhelming part of her still thought of that sentence as a greeting, but the Mai part of her was coming back. If she’d ever said that to Zuko (and she had) he’d back off. He wouldn’t starve her. He wouldn’t hurt her. He wouldn’t isolate her. He would die before he would do anything to hurt her. He loved her. And she loved him.

The guard just laughed, and came at her with the sai. But the part of her she’d forgotten was in control now, she wasn’t starved and had a lifetime of fighting on her side. She maneuvered her body so he was closer to the wall, and wrangled the sai out of his grasp. She put the blade up to his neck and said “Keep on walking. Don’t resist.” 

The memories were fading fast. She could no longer remember Zuko’s face. But the guard had said his name. Zuko. She would remember today. 

The Sweetheart part of her started coming back. Mai knew if she didn’t act fast she’d be at his mercy again. She walked him to the bars of her cell, and handcuffed him to the cell, out of reach of everything but air. She kicked her remaining food towards him. “I’ll be back in a few days. Let’s see you ration that. Or maybe it would just be safer to starve.” Mai exited her cell for the first time in weeks, the guard calling to her in desperation. “You wouldn’t do this! Besides, who would believe you if you told?”

Mai looked back one last time, part of her desperate to let him go. “Fire Lord Zuko maybe. He knows a bit about honor, and what it’s like to go without. And what do you think he’ll do to you when he finds out what you did to me?” Without waiting for an answer, Mai ran through the hallways of the prison, no other person in sight. Finally she found a door that led outside, and felt the sun on her face for the first time in forever. 

She never stopped running until the moon was high in the sky. Then she collapsed on the cobblestone road, made sure no one was watching, and cried.


	3. At The End of it All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place a week after chapter 2 ends.

Parties weren’t her scene. Sure, Mai generally went to them because she was a noblewoman and that’s what they did, but actually enjoying them was a different thing altogether. Much happier in this atmosphere was Ty Lee, dancing and talking and laughing with everyone she came across, especially the Kyoshi Warriors. Mai still couldn’t believe Ty Lee had joined their group.

She watched the crowds for a while, a drink in her hand. Katara was with her brother and father. Aang and Toph were talking to some Earth kingdom people she didn’t know. Ty Lee was talking to Suki. Zuko was nowhere to be seen, probably in the mist of a crowd somewhere.

Mai took a sip of her drink and watched the sun fade into the horizon. How much longer could this take? Sure, she was as happy as any that Zuko was the Fire Lord now, but couldn’t people be happy in a place that she didn’t have to be in? Thankfully people were leaving her alone. Besides maybe a few, she didn’t think anyone realized how important she was to the Fire Lord. Mai silently thanked Agni for that.

"Nice little place you’ve got here." Mai jumped slightly, she hadn’t realized anyone was near. 

"You got away from the crowds?" She felt Zuko kiss her on the cheek. 

"Sort of. They’ll be back, though. I swear, half of them have a Fire Lord tracking device."

"Well then, thanks for dragging me into it." It was good to talk to him again. Joking around like this without a care in the world had been one luxury Mai’d failed to transfer to her cell in prison. "I could cause a commotion if you’d like, get them off your backs."

Zuko raised his eyebrows and smirked at her. “Don’t you dare. You’re in enough trouble as it is.” He grabbed Mai’s waist and pulled her close to him. “I’d like you in one piece, thank you very much.” 

It still felt new, Zuko’s kiss. She’d been so far removed from her life in prison that she’d forgotten what it felt like. She couldn’t help but gasp into it, even if only for a second. When he pulled away, Mai could see a shine in his amber eyes. “I really missed that,” he said, his voice soft.

Mai just nodded. Thinking about why they’d been apart made her think of prison. Prison was the last place she wanted to think about. Something must have made Zuko realize what she was thinking. “Mai, how- how are you?”

She took a deep breath. “Fine. A little… fine Zuko.” 

"A little what?"

Mai looked down. She would have walked away if Zuko’s hands weren’t still on her waist. “A little shaken. It wasn’t exactly a walk in the park, prison. But I’m fine. Really.” One of the many memories she’d tried to push down resurfaced, and Mai could feel tears behind her eyes. It was scary how close she was to breaking these days, and maybe Zuko saw that.

Zuko brought his hand to her hair, brushing some loose strands away from her face, comforting her. “I know you’re not, Mai, but I won’t pry. At least, not here.” Zuko lifted her head and started caressing her cheek with his thumb. “Just… thank you, Mai. For saving me and my friends.” He looked right at her. “I’m glad you’re not dead.”

Mai was confused. “Who said I was dead?” Zuko’s eyes flashed with a memory Mai didn’t know. 

"It’s a long story."

"Then summarize it for me."

Zuko smiled at her. “I love you. More than you know, actually.”

Mai gave him a sideways glance. “You mean you don’t hate me?”

"No."

Mai could see the crowds of people coming towards them, but she didn’t care. Right here, right now, it may as well be a decade earlier and Mai was talking to him for the first time. She reached up and touched his scar, feeling the ripples of leathery skin for the first time in what felt like a lifetime.

"I love you too, Zuko. And I always will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last bit was supposed to be the first time the two said “I love you” instead of “I don’t hate you”, which is a big deal because in the words of the Green brothers “Showing someone you love them isn’t the same as actually saying it outright.” And now they both live happily ever after (except not really).

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler Alert: Mai didn't die. Obviously. I thought it would be fun to write it not AU because judging by the circumstances I figured Mai would've assumed she'd die after helping Zuko escape, that was obviously Azula's plan at first. Ty Lee's betrayal was not expected by anyone, least of all Mai. That face was not one of expectance. And unless Zuko can see the future, teleport, or be invisible all he knew was what Mai gave him. And if Mai thought she was going to die, I figured Zuko would too.
> 
> My non-cannon bits happen when either the scene is over or when the scene changed to a different angle so you couldn't see the characters. Plausibility this could've all happened, though I doubt it. Of course, the writers did leave a ton out in these two episodes, so we never know.
> 
> Thanks for reading, I can't believe you made it to the end. This is a loooong one, I know.


End file.
